Teddy pictures at last!

I know, I know, it took me a while, but here are the pictures of what Teddy was up to at Establo San Rafael!

Teddy loves hammocks as much as I do

Teddy of course had to get in on the acrobatics.

But bears need a lot of rest in the shade in such hot climates...

Kind of cool by the pond, plus he could watch the fishes (he wasn't allowed to catch them though, much to his chagrin) 

Teddy liked the aerial silks as well.  Cameroun gave him some lessons.

I think he picked it up fairly well!

Teddy enjoyed finding little nooks and crannies to hang out in...

Teddy also spent time getting to know the other animals on the farm...

And more acrobatics to finish things up. he sure had a fun time with this place!  (I think he's enjoying being home in the colder weather though...)

"Home"

The whole time I was in Costa Rica, I talked with various people about the "culture shock" I was likely to go through when I got back home.  But to be honest, I had no idea what "culture shock" was.  I'm not sure I do, even now, when I would supposedly be going through it.  But, maybe I am going through it?  I don't know.  I think maybe the "culture shock" is just another way people talk about the fact that, rather than unadulterated joy about being home, when you come back from a trip like that, it actually entails a crazy muddled mix-up of emotions.
Or maybe, it just means the feeling that everything is... weird.  I can't put my finger on what exactly it *is* that is weird, other than... everything.  Which conflicts internally with the deep sense of familiarity of everything.
Some things I can pin down. 
All the usual sounds are gone.  Complain as I may have about the roosters and other birds, it was weird as fuck not to wake up with the jungle noises around me.  
People here throw their toilet paper in the toilet.  How weird is that? ;-)
My body is pretty convinced, despite the rain, that we've relocated to a dry desert land, and my nose and lips and eyes are suffering from the lack of humidity.
Seatbelts are once again the norm.

But, it is, I think, something deeper and more fundamental, and really a bit disturbing.  I want to be all bouncing and bubbly smiles about being home.... and I'm not.

Don't get me wrong, I'm *SO FUCKING HAPPY* to see the people I love again.  And my wonderful family at the PDC (my home) did an amazing job putting together my new room for me (art and books everywhere! :-D).  Jason made a fabulous welcome home dinner.  Sleeping next to a warm body again was sumptuous.

But.

I don't know.  Maybe culture shock is just when you're gone so long that "home" was where you were traveling, and real home, where you're coming back to, became the strange and exotic place.

Whatever it is, it really does cause a sort of brain numb shocked sensation.  It will be interesting to see how long this takes to pass....

Keep looking here for a few posts of shit tons of pictures (including Teddy's adventures at the ranch) now that I have reliable, fast internet again.

Surreal

Over the course of this trip, I’ve had a lot of different feelings about or dispositions towards home.  I’ve missed it, yearned for it, contemplated it, been proud of it.  It has seemed terribly distant, or right around the corner. It has at times even been frightening.

But sitting here in the kitchen at the ranch a mere two mornings before I will be on a plane for home it seems mainly… surreal.

I had a little bit of this sense when Kelly and I first arrived at the luxury resort where we spent her last night.  As I walked in the lobby I was actually slowed by a sense of un-reality.  Was this place where everything was shiny and clean and expensive looking really still in the country I’ve been in for three months?  It happened again when I went to the high-end mall with Cameroun.  No dirt, no bare feet, clean clothes, the Spanish equivalent to Muzak playing over the speakers…..

Weird.

And now I’m going back to a whole culture/world of “weird”.  I mean hell, I haven’t driven a vehicle in three months.  I haven’t woken up to an alarm in three months.  I haven’t used a dryer, or microwave in three months.  Most of the roads I’ve been on have been dirt, and everything has been at least a little bit dirty.  I haven’t lived with the consistent sounds of traffic, haven’t heard car alarms or sirens, haven’t shopped in a grocery store where you could get anything, haven’t seen a layer of smog hanging in the sky…

It’s gonna be weird.

I’m tremendously glad I’m headed home from the ranch, and not leaving directly from the first farm.  At least here I’ve been online consistently, and we’ve watched movies, and have some neighbors. I think if I’d gone home straight from the farm I’d have fainted from the culture shock of it all.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to go home.  Excited to see the people I love, excited not to be alone when I go to bed at night, excited to see the daffodils and all of spring, excited to have a wider variety of food choices, reliable internet, an income…

But it really seems quite a bit unreal still.  And, odd as this may sound, I’m going to miss the… inconvenience of many things.  If that makes any sense.

Only two more days…