Unreal

I'm just over two days away from my departure.  It seems literally unreal.  I keep expecting that somehow I've been wrong, and it isn't really happening, or something will prevent it from happening.  3 months away from everyone in my life?  Three months essentially on my own, only myself to rely on.  I'm sure for most adults my age, this wouldn't be such a stretch, but it is something I've never even some close to doing.  Doing it here, in America, on relatively familiar ground would be a huge stretch for me.  What I'm about to do... so far outside my comfort zone, so far outside the realm of my experience.... it absolutely feels unreal.  Fake.  Like I'll get to the airport and everyone will jump out from behind things and yell "Surprise!  Just kidding!" and life will resume as usual.  Instead, I think the next 3 months will be the least "usual" months of my life.

Am I excited?  Yes.
Am I terrified?  Yes.

But I also don't think it has sunk in.  Despite all the preparations, despite being able to look at the airline confirmations, and the emails with the farms, etc... It just does not feel real.  I suspect it won't feel real until right about the time I board the plane on Thursday morning....

Not the way I wanted to spend half of my last week home

Good lords above have I been sick.  And still am sick.  Some sort of stomach bug has swept through the house.  I came down with it the 27th, which was the worst day, complete with my body making absolutely sure, by all means available to it, that I had *nothing* left in my system.  It still doesn't want anything in there, and lets me know every time I try.  I've lost 8lbs in two days.  And instead of enjoying favorite meals from home before I go, I'm lucky to keep down some crackers, or some broth.  Instead of frolicking about, and enjoying last minute social functions etc, I feel exhausted by the move from my bed to the couch.  As far as I can tell, there is only one upside....

It's happening while I'm still home, and didn't start on the plane ride to Costa Rica....

Christmas!

Christmas yesterday saw me receive many of the things I wanted or needed for my trip, including new toe shoes, 8 pairs of good socks, two pairs of sunglasses, and a pair or ear buds (in a pear tree?).  Also, I realized I have plenty of stationary, and Will and Rachel got me a sun hat, and Missa and Jason got me a Kindle.  It's loaded up with most of the classics already, and I'm ready to start ticking titles off the "100 books you have to read" list.
Going to look today for some pants for my excursion.  Most of the rest will have to wait a couple more days.  It is getting so close!  Only 7 more days, and I have plans that don't involve getting ready on too many of them.  Eeeek!

To-do list

I've been panicking a little, but, written out, it doesn't look so bad (though I'm almost certainly forgetting something).  Mostly, I just need to try to find a way to scrape together the funds....

Things to get:

Sun hat

Pants

Rain-coat

E-reader

Insect repellant

Sun screen

Biodegradable soaps etc

Alarm clock

Phrase book/dictionary

Journal

Stationary

Things to do:

Get addresses

Get hotel(s?)

Purchase needed items

Get money from Jason

Get money from Kelly

Plan packing

Pack

16 days

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
16 days?  It seriously feels like tomorrow.  I actually had a dream last night that it *was* tomorrow and I hadn't gotten anything ready or done.... It was scary.  Christmas is taking up so much of my time, I really do still have a lot to accomplish.  Objects to acquire, things to plan, my bank to call, insurance to set up.  Jeez, there's a lot that goes into all of this!
At this point, with the stress, and the surity that I'll forget something or fuck something up, i'm almost more scared than I am excited.

Almost.

I guess this is as good a first post as any

It is 6:24am (approximately :-P) and I just finished my final paper for grad school.  I said goodbye to my last client at internship two days ago.  I'm a mere 6 shifts away from finished with work before I leave.  And I am only 21 days from boarding the plane.
Holy Fuck.
Anyway, I'm going to try to start posting regularly about my preparations, and about my feelings etc as the time to depart grows closer.  But mainly I just wanted to get this site up and running so I could give the address to folks who have been inquiring.  I'll manage the look of the page etc later.